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Should I disclose my autism to my employer - last post in our serious

Regarding the question of whether autistic employees should disclose their mental health status to employers, based on my experience in two disparate jobs the answer is boiled down to an Aspie-friendly Yes or No. What is likely the hardest part, however, is deciding how to read the room and then decide to disclose it or not.

In my first job, I came home from school after leaving college rather early. Thinking I would soon return I got a full-time job working for an automobile parts store. It was not the polished sort of place most of us go to when we want to fix a car; it was an ancient building with sixty years of disorganization. Ironically, autistic traits helped me navigate the insanity of this place. I memorized the back room in two weeks’ time, at least well enough to find parts reasonably quickly. 

This was a place where I was able to do a good honest job, in part because of autistic traits. However, mentioning the fact would have been very bad for my job. The owners were of the peculiar rudeness of the unlettered and arrogant; after overhearing them talk about mentally disordered people I figured it was unlikely that I could mention on-the-job difficulty and hear any more than “get over it” or “make it work.” There was (to my sense) a certain decay of etiquette and standards here, and it was quite nice to finally be out of there. They liked me, but superficially; no surprise, they were superficial about most other things and I did not want to consider them friends anyway. 

After quite a long time working there I and the boss had a falling-out over lateness on a delivery,  which is not surprising when not even the company knew the address of the house. I went instead to work part-time at a coffee shop. This one was different; here I mentioned to the manager & assistant that I was autistic and, thankfully, they did not care at all. The job had potential to be worse than my auto parts job; it was so in some ways as I was dealing in customer service, but in other ways, such as my trousers not falling apart from exposure to battery acid, it was far superior. And of course it was nicer to leave work smelling like delicious coffee than like sweat, oil, grime, and rust.

In conclusion, I would say from my own experience that it isn’t wise to go to work waiting for the opportunity to tell all about mental conditions. However, reading your boss’ reaction would help.  Ask friends or family for etiquette tips, and if you find yourself swindled, leave. Happy working! 

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Contributor Contributor

Subtle as Thunder: The Two-way road to Coming Out as Autistic to my Employer

By: Matt Medina

The CDC estimates that 1-2% of the population is autistic (1) however, as diagnostic processes improve, and as we come to learn more about the various presentations of autism, we should expect that percentage to increase as it has over the past several decades. 

For the suspected 1-2% of us with autism who work, we are told to navigate a space that was never designed with us in mind and to interact with others who expect us to behave in ways that benefit their modes of socializing often at our expense. Autistic people tend to cut to the chase, which, largely, is thought of as rude.

The double empathy problem may explain why neurotypicals and autistics often talk past each other (2).

Also, it’s common for neurotypicals to apply an emotional valence to what autistics say, adding a subtext. The predictable result is that the dispassionate language of the autistic person is thought to carry a callous—if not hostile—meaning that leaves both parties confused and hurt. The autistic employee is left wondering what went wrong while the neurotypical employee feels her autistic peer is a jerk at best or a bully at worst. This is the double empathy problem at work.

While interactions between neurotypes often end in miscommunication, a little understanding goes a long way.

At my last workplace, I found myself having difficulties with some paperwork (an experience many autistics are familiar with). My handful of questions about the paperwork, my style of communication, and, more generally, the way I viewed the world baffled my boss.

So, one morning I decided to come to her office and tell her about my diagnosis. For the reasons outlined above, this isn’t a decision I made lightly. There’s a high margin of failure since many people don’t know much about autism and so looms the risk of discrimination. Still, communication is a two-way road and I felt confident in speaking with my boss.

After telling my boss, her face grew less tense and she apologized. She told me she felt I was being defiant when I was speaking honestly. She has experience with autistics and so she quickly understood my perspective, as well as a neurotypical, could. From that point onward, the tension withered, and our relationship grew closer. She made sure to make her directions thorough for me, and she knew she could leave me to own (eccentric) devices when on the job.

I know I got lucky in that instance. And, honestly, there aren’t many other situations where I’d ever let my boss know about my autism. Unfortunately, the stigma surrounding autism is great. As an autistic person, navigating the workplace feels like I’m always walking on eggshells.

Employers can do a better job to learn about autism and how it manifests. We offer a lot of distinct advantages in employment.

Autistics do their best to act by the unspoken social rules because we need to. What we’re asking is not that people change who they are for us, but that you meet us half-way so that autistics aren’t bearing the brunt of the weight. As it stands, autistics are expected to act neurotypical and are reprimanded for reminding people of their differences. This is inefficient and unsustainable.

However, if neurotypical employers took some time to understand us and to train the staff accordingly, we could live far more harmonious and efficient lives. To me, this sounds far more pleasant.

Sources:

  1. Prevalence of Autism in the Population | CDC

  1. The Double-Empathy Problem | The University of Kent

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An Autistic in the Workplace: Should I tell My Boss?

I was already employed for a few years in the IT field before I was diagnosed. But I had experienced some trouble in a newly assigned task. I was asked to be on a helpdesk team, taking tech support calls from individuals within the organization and from users outside.

But, I struggled, to say the least. I couldn’t figure out what people were saying. I couldn’t distinguish accents (I live in a VERY diverse country, racially, linguistically, and educationally). I was terrified of speaking verbally. The thought of the phone ringing was horrifying. I was afraid of sounding terse, angry, unhelpful or stupid. I couldn’t “hustle” my way around a user’s problem. I struggled to ask for help from a supervisor who would say to me “you need to learn to think” and left it at that when I asked for help with a problem.  I hated it. Even though the products and systems I supported were awesome, the inherent lack of clarity of the job description and the muddiness of undefined social interaction made it incredibly difficult. I wanted to help people with their tech problems. But SOMETHING was preventing me from using my brain to do that. I wasn’t diagnosed at this stage. 

I was granted a change in an assignment (assisting in setup and configuration of network equipment), and here, I was given “finite” or discrete projects, with clear boundaries that I could tackle on my own with some training from others here and there. It was amazing. My productivity soared. I could work alone, either at the office or at home. I worked fast and loved what I was learning. I was officially diagnosed around this time. 

I toyed with the idea of disclosing my “status” to my manager. He knew I previously had struggled with depression and anxiety and he was supportive then. So, I decided to tell him. But I did have my misgivings. Unlike depression or anxiety, which are now getting more support in the workplace, in a lot of people’s minds, autism is a mental disability, not the “difference” we autistics know it to be. The result is that we are treated in a way that we see as condescending. We are not suddenly “beneath you” mentally and cognitively. We are so often treated like little kids. Comments like “good for you” and “Aw, you are trying your best” are insulting. The mental benefits that come with autism are ignored. 

When I told him about my diagnosis, he thought back to how I struggled with the helpdesk assignment. He needed a bit of help understanding what autism/Asperger’s syndrome really was. After I explained, he then said he was happy he changed my assignment to what it is now. After I described it to him, he said “well, you could say that about a few others on this team too, couldn’t you?” and he laughed. I took this as a sign of acceptance. That “despite” this difference, I was still a valued member of the team, and he could see I was happy in the new assignment and he was happy with my work. The pieces fit. So, my experience at my current employer is a good one. This isn’t the norm though. 

What Worked and What Didn’t

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If you had to ask me if I would have disclosed my status upfront, perhaps at interview stage? No. For this job and anything prior that I interviewed for, I would NOT have disclosed at that initial stage. Why? Because no matter how understanding an interviewer may be, autism and social skills do not immediately associate with each other in the common person’s mind. Rudeness, bluntness, social awkwardness and other unbecoming traits are associated with us. We aren’t associated with being a “team player”. Which would rule us out. 

But the strengths we have, don’t immediately come to mind when neurotypical employers interview us. Where I had success, I attribute to the following autistic traits: 

  1. Social indifference? No! Whatever you call it, it makes us impervious to the effects of office politics and the petty squabbles that often exist. We simply don’t care about these things, allowing us to focus on the goal at hand.

  2. Over-analytical? No! Yes, we analyse more than the usual person and it can sometimes be a hindrance. However, wouldn’t you prefer a person who thought about a solution more rather than less? Besides, this trait allows us to connect seemingly unconnected ideas and we can come up with novel concepts this way. 

  3. Not a team player? No! We CAN play in a team. Just don’t expect the quality of the results to be the same as it could have been had we tackled the task on our own. ☺ 

  4. Rudeness and bluntness? No! It’s in how you frame it. The workplace isn’t high school. It’s a place to get things done. We appreciate this and as such, being clear and expecting clarity is not to be confused with rudeness. 

  5. Hyperfocus? In my opinion, this can only be seen as a positive thing, if of course, it is accompanied by a guideline as to when to lay off the hyperfocus and to see the bigger picture. If the bigger picture is clear to us, hyperfocus need not be an issue at all. 

  6. Poor verbal communication? No! If anything, we rely of the unique ability of humans to use language to communicate! We value what is said, not necessarily HOW it is said, or the body language employed when a thing is said. We may not speak like neurotypicals, but get us to write out our thoughts, intentions, or pretty much anything, and what you see will make sense and be helpful and clear. We highly value the use of language. Why waste that incredible area of the human brain? ☺ You will always know where you stand with us. If you listen to the words. 

The “image” of adult autistics needs to change. We aren’t just Sheldon Cooper, Dr. Greg House or Rain Man. We can be kind, gentle, loving, intelligent, independent, entertaining and funny. But these things don’t come to mind right away, and the stereotypes are hauled out instead.

How different is that from racial prejudice or sexism? 

My choice was to NOT disclose my status upfront, but rather let the evidence speak for itself once I was employed. If, however, you are an employer, I would appeal to you to consider what you think you may already know about us. Throw away the stereotypes as you would expect when it comes to gender or racial issues. You will be better for it.  

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Contributor Contributor

Should I Disclose My Autism at Work?

I started this job wondering if I should disclose my autism to my boss. I hadn’t at first, but once the sensory demands started wearing me down, I approached her. I was determined to do what it took to keep my job.

By: Vanessa Blanchard

Shortly after I found out I was autistic, I got an office job.  I chose not to disclose my autism during the interview, opting instead to aim for being agreeable and hardworking. 

There were parts of it I really loved.  I was a part of something; my contributions helped others succeed.  It was fun and purposeful to organize and coordinate with people.

But the office had glass walls and I could hear people shuffling papers and talking all day.   There were constant interruptions and demands for masking. I was trying to be tougher than my needs. After just a few weeks, I started burning out.  

I started this job wondering if I should disclose my autism to my boss.  I hadn’t at first, but once the sensory demands started wearing me down, I approached her.  I was determined to do what it took to keep my job.  

She said, “I don’t see it.” 

From that point on, any time I tried to discuss accommodations or challenges I was having, I was met with suspicion.  She didn’t believe me. She framed my requests as laziness and weakness. Like I thought I was too good for the job. She told me that I’d never find a better position and said I was ungrateful.  

There wasn’t an HR department to protect me.  Less than four months after I started, I was fired.  

What I Did Wrong

I started this job as if I had no other choices.  Being chronically underemployed, stuck in poverty, and desperate to prove to “others” that I was a real adult, I approached my interview as if it were my only option.  I didn’t self-disclose in the interview out of fear of ruining my chances. I didn’t realize that urge to hide myself was a huge red flag.

My need to prove myself as capable had stripped me of all of my negotiation power.

Instead of making sure that I would benefit from the position, I masked and people-pleased, setting up expectations that I couldn’t consistently meet.  I presented a false self that was certain to be my undoing.

What I learned:

  1. Most people are dismissive of autism at first.  

  2. We live in a “good vibes only” society that values conformity.  We have to be productive workers who fall in line. Placing your needs above the expectations of others is borderline blasphemous in these conditions.  

  3. Ignoring a person’s needs doesn’t change them.  Unmet needs will make themselves known.

  4. My energy and time have value and I should take that effort back from people who don’t earn me.  This doesn’t mean I get to walk around acting entitled. It does mean that no one job is ever my only option.

So, Should I Tell My Employer/Boss/Potential Employer?

There isn’t a clear cut answer to this, but I will say that my experience leans towards yes.  Will you lose some opportunities? Yes. Many of them, but this doesn’t mean you should change what you’re doing.  

The fact that so many workplaces have no idea how to accommodate autistic people is not a reflection of your worth.  It’s laziness and misinformation on their part.  

Other people’s discrimination isn’t the same as having no power.  And for me, this is what disclosure represents. Can I weed out the people who will be wasting my time?  Autistic folks are taught that we are burdens who must sacrifice ourselves to prove we are “better now.” That we can keep up.  But what good is nailing an interview for a job that will destroy me? How will I eat in six, nine, twelve months if I can’t get out of bed anymore?

So I won’t work in a place that makes me feel unsafe in disclosing.  This limits my choices, but saves me a lot of time, pain, and recovery.  The more I embrace this, the less it hurts when people react poorly to me.  I know me and I’m good with me.  

And I know that if someone tells you that you are disposable, they have made the same true of themselves.

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Arik Arik

Top 10 reasons to hire autistic people, either as employees or remote freelancers

  1. Autistic and aspergers adults possess many desired skills, but generally have excellent tech orientation, which makes them a great talent for tech companies. There is an increasingly huge need for such employees (see HBR). 

  2. Highly retained employees (for some companies, 1% increase in general employee retention worth > US$ 50M/year).

  3. Tens of thousands of $ worth of tax benefits (this is relevant to full-time employers)

    Post your jobs on our newsletter and get in-front of almost 1,000 high-functioning autistics

  4. It adds to the general diversity of the company, which according to scholars and researches contributes to the ability to meet customer needs, creativity, innovation, and the accessibility of products. Even if you hire autistics as freelancers who work from home, you are still more diverse.

  5. It enhances the company’s brand as an inclusive employer, and therefore attracts top talents. Anyone wants to work in an inclusive workplace that is open to everyone.  

  6. Managers of autistic people become better managers to their neurotypical employees as well. They are more inclusive, give better feedback and set clear expectations.  

  7. Existing autistic employees (who kept it confidential so far) will be happier (as indicated by Microsoft). According to a survey by StackOverflow, 2.6% of the programmers indicated they are autistic.

  8. Many scholars identify autistic people as trustworthy, innovative, attentive to details, analytical thinkers, productive, reliable and more. Many of them become masters of their trade and therefore are immune to boredom.

  9. With 500,000-1M teens entering adulthood in the upcoming 10 years (in the US), and with direct and indirect annual costs of US$ 236 Billion to the American taxpayer, hiring autistic people and providing them with the professional fulfilment is both socially and economically right. 

  10. Being more diverse means getting more diverse customers = more income.


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