10 Autistic Phrases Explained: The Meaning of Words Like Allistic and Neurodivergent
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By: Vanessa Blanchard
Are you new to the autism community? Maybe your child has been diagnosed, or you’re finding out about yourself as an adult. You’re curious to learn more, but now there are all these new terms floating about. Like, what does it mean to be allistic?
What’s the difference between neurodivergence and neurodiversity? What does NT and ND stand for?
Well fret not! You’ve stumbled upon a wonderful resource. Here you’ll find the definitions of 10 of the most common terms used in the autistic community and how they relate to key issues faced by autistic people.
1) Allistic -
Allistic simply means a non autistic person.
2) Neurotypical -
Someone who is not neurodivergent, often called an NT for short.
Sometimes autistic people will use terms like “allistic” and “NT” in derogatory ways. Most autistic folks have extensive experience with misunderstandings and social traumas after navigating an NT world.
If you’re an allistic looking to be an ally, make sure to listen to the voices of actually autistic people, even if it makes you uncomfortable.
Especially if it makes you uncomfortable.
For example, most autistic people will tell you to avoid Autism Speaks because it is a hate group. Many parents or support folk find that uncomfortable because Autism Speaks is such a prominent organization.
3) Neurodivergent -
Someone who is neurodivergent has some sort of variation to their neurology or overall brain structure. This is an umbrella term that can apply to a range of issues including:
Autism (see best jobs for autistic adults)
ADHD (see best jobs for people with ADHD)
PTSD
Alzheimers or dementia
Epilepsy
Tourette's syndrome
Traumatic brain injuries (or TBIs)
Blindness
Deafness
Etc.
ND is short for Neurodivergent.
4) Neurodiverse -
Often used interchangeably with “neurodivergent” this term technically applies to all people, including allistics. Neurodiversity is a collection of diverse neurotypes, including the “norm,” whereas neurodivergent specifically refers to the ways a brain could diverge from what is decided as normal function.
5) Autism -
Autism is a developmental disorder that impacts the nervous system. It is often referred to as a spectrum disorder because it’s complex and presents itself in many different ways.
Common ways include impaired or delayed motor, speech, and occupational skills as well as struggles in developing social and emotional regulation skills.
Most importantly, while this is a chronic condition, it is not a disease and cannot be cured.
There are many other conditions that can co-occur with autism, like:
ADHD
Ehler-Danlos Syndrome
PTSD
Epilepsy
OCD
and addiction
Autism is not an intellectual disorder, although they can co-occur.
6) Asperger Syndrome-
An outdated term often used to identify a less severe, or more high functioning, version of autism. This term is still used in some diagnostic circles.
Within the autistic community, it is a highly divisive and controversial term. Hans Asperger, whose work helped bring autism as a condition to public awareness, was also known to have ties with Nazis guilty of experimenting on and killing disabled children during WWII.
The autistic history contains inhumane violence, murder, and the threat of eugenics, all in the name of curing children, so many advocate that the term Aspergers should be abolished in all medical and social arenas.
7) Person-first language vs Identity-first language -
Person-first language emphasizes that the diagnosis doesn’t define the person, the person has the diagnosis (a person with autism).
Identity-first language emphasizes the idea that the condition is inseparable from the person (autistic person, disabled person, blind person).
The vast majority of the autistic community has agreed that they view autism as inseparable from who they are. We prefer identity-first language in regards to autism.
We leave room for members of our community to express person-first language, but ask that allistic allies respect the majority and use identity-first phrasing.
This is because of a long history of erasure of the autistic identity under the disease model. Our cultural understanding of autism stems from autistic distress rather than acceptance and support.
8) Functioning Labels -
There is a tendency to split autistic folks into two categories: high and low functioning (defined below). There is no credible diagnostic use for these terms, but they help start discussions about ableism and stigmas surrounding public awareness of autism.
Low Functioning- On its face, the term “low functioning” seems to refer to autistic folks who have higher support needs than their peers. However, this term is largely applied to people who are non-speaking, and is also conflated with intellectual disabilities.
While intellectual disabilities can occur, it is best not to assume that a non-speaking or cognitively impaired person doesn’t think, understand, or have something to say.
High Functioning - This term is usually given to autistics who can speak and appear to have lower support needs.
These assumptions erase the support needs of autistic individuals across the board.
9) Late diagnosed/self diagnosed -
It’s very common for people to live well into adulthood before they learn they are autistic. Often, people will seek a diagnosis later in life to have answers, but getting a diagnosis has many barriers.
So, the autism community welcomes people who have self-diagnosed as autistic, but don’t have the resources or support to seek a formal diagnosis.
Some within the community argue that self-diagnosis isn’t valid. They aren’t the majority and they aren’t correct.
10) Applied Behavioral Analysis -
Called ABA for short, this is the predominant form of “therapy” for autistic children that is pushed by many professionals/institutions that use the disease model of thinking for autism.
Autistic folks don’t agree with the disease model of thinking for autism.
Autistic children and adults who have endured this “therapy” report that it is a very abusive and ineffective way of dealing with autistic struggles. Research suggests that exposure to ABA results in increased rates of PTSD.
Is Autism a Disability?
Yes and no.
Autism can be disabling in many ways, and this will be different for everyone. Autism is lifelong, and that includes the disabling parts.
However, proper social and systemic support can help ensure that we have better quality of life and more independence and stability as adults. Many of us will not be able to work traditionally, but most of us are eager to contribute to the world in some meaningful way, maybe through art or philosophy, invention or academia. We have a lot of entrepreneurs in our midst.
We’re a diverse and capable crew when we’re allowed to be authentic and included.
Is Autism Curable?
No. It is our brains, how they’re built and wired. There are many ways to address specific struggles. A few examples include:
Alternative speech tools
Patient practice with motor or life skill development.
Therapy to help with emotional dysregulation and support animals to help with meltdowns or co-occurring needs.
Autistic-friendly team building exercises, like gaming or interest clubs, are super useful in social development.
Support with job training and advocacy during employment would increase autonomy in adulthood.
The autistic community prefers an approach that assumes capability and an environment that allows us to be there as our authentic selves. Allistics who mean to be allies can help us by elevating our voices and helping us build systems of support up around our community.
Additional reading for parents:
Workplace bullying - the deep south version
This is the last post in a series of posts about bullying @ work - worst jobs for autistic adults.
By: An anonymous Aspie
One of the hardest things for autistic people in the twenty-first century is workplace bullying. I suppose it gets more press now, since we know what autism is, but I am pretty sure people have gotten a hard time for being “different” for as long as there have been people. My own experience of this came at a place where all the trappings of modern workplace culture were nonexistent: the most redneck auto parts store in town, an old 1930s building crumbling away at the edges like a wet loaf of banana bread
I am “high-functioning autistic:” I look normal, can act passably normal, and get along fine with everyone. I have many wonderful friends, and am thoroughly enjoying my college education in progress, my hobbies, and my side-hustle as a light novelist. But that is now: I got the job then, in a time where my life was turned inside out by a sudden cross-country move, and I just wanted a job. The auto parts company needed people, and as I knew nothing of the value of labor, I thought $8 an hour a small fortune: which it would have been some fifty-odd years ago. (Autistics are not all naïve: however, I was one of the dumb ones.) Happily ignorant of OSHA regulations, redneck culture, or much of anything else, I went to work.
Regarding actual anecdotes of workplace bullying, well, that place was a bit of a zoo. There wasn't really an "office culture" because of the nature of the place as an auto parts store--an ancient building full of machinery, batteries, barrels and sacks and everything. Here the Dilbert-style cubicle culture didn’t exist. I became warehouse manager, delivery driver, salesman, janitor, and the entire department of Shipping and Returns. My “office” was the front seat of a two-door truck with worn-out tires like potato peels, a perpetually smoky and underpowered engine, and a tendency to shut itself off while gasping and wheezing along the highway. It shed license plates, front grills, headlights, and tailgates with wild abandon. Sometimes I could have gotten there faster riding a horse, and in some cases when the delivery truck was too hard to crank, I drove my own car instead. Ten years older than the delivery trucks, it leaked all the oil it didn’t burn and smoked like a railway train when it was cranked, but even this rolling museum piece was much better maintained and more efficient than the trucks at the auto parts company. This, in hindsight, should have been my first red flag that the workers were not a priority of the storeowner, but instead I bought parts for my little old car: the company lost a Ford sedan when the transmission gave out, and one of those trucks is now held together by ropes, but my old-fashioned but functional machine will be an antique next year and is still running on its old original engine. So nobody tell me that automobiles wear out—it’s the owner that does it, and carelessness betokens more carelessness!
The work was not a problem. I was good at it. Pay was too low but we're talking about holding & keeping employment here, not about discretionary income. My trousers rotted off my body every couple months due to the battery acid back there; it was a part of life. My hands turned a perpetual black from handling broken starters, alternators, the worn-out brake linings from eighteen-wheelers. This was fine—it was part of an honest day’s manual labor, and I personally found the arduous nature of it refreshing, and the precision needed for the organizational part, relaxing. The only problems arose as the man who owned the shop tended to toss off petty insults about everything. It is unwise, depending on the workplace, to show signs of weakness.
Religion was not safe. I am a Catholic. Then again, this was the Deep South. That apparently is a sort of taboo here; they were a sort of Pentecostal or Holiness Church, and they kept asking about "why don't Catholics eat meat on Fridays" and while questions from open-minded people do not bother me, they might bother some who are not fairly hardheaded about their religion. (Many autistics are either diehard believers or agnostics, and have strongly felt reasons for being such.) However, if I wasn’t “different” enough from the fairly quiet voice and intention to perhaps do too much work, they concluded from my celibacy and abstinence from meat on Fridays that I was something akin to a gay Hindu and behaved accordingly; remember folks, why waste time on religious freedom when you can eat meat to own the libs and prove you’re not a vegan SJW!
Regarding workplace bullying, “the real thing” came when I ended up having to boss the part-time help. There was one young man there: a rich, golf-playing, duck-hunting daddy's boy from the country club. You know the type if you were ever in small town South Carolina: all traces of refined behavior completely erased by an expensive private school, insufferably pretentious, huge jacked-up pickup truck that's never been off a paved road (we call them "mall terrain vehicles" in jest, and worse) and generally a loud, wealthy, insecure sort of person. I ended up having to be this kid's boss. He claimed to be studying calculus and at the same time seemed to have a very hard time with his ABCs, as he never stocked the shelves right. Here the friction begins. I had memorized that parts store in two weeks, worked for three months to get any skill at managing Warehousing, driving deliveries, making sales, and being the janitor—to have young Daddy's Money get in there and ruin it, delaying sales and making my work twice as much, was a problem which I made the mistake of bringing up to him. Because hey, so much for doing my job as warehouse boss, right?
He figured out that I can't stand loud noises due to the classic autism symptom of sensory sensitivity and he and the other little high-school-aged brats began circling my house at night with the loudspeakers on, blasting country music. I couldn't walk to work any more without getting harassed by them in their off hours. And they kept rather irregular hours--I would be walking down the sidewalk and someone would set off a car horn from a truck in the bushes and I'd realize it was one of them, or one of their friends. I have had at least one nervous breakdown due to this and to this day my heart rate rises uncontrollably around that kind of music, the blend of hip-hop and country known unpleasantly as “hick-hop,” which sounds like one should put their head in a paper bag and breathe deep until the feeling passes. So—panic attacks, huzzah! Much simpler than that alphabet—and as the South is loyal to the party, there ain’t none of them Arabic numerals involved either!
The boss' son (who was set to inherit the company, and seemed to have quite a bit of money but not much wits) used to ask dumb rhetorical questions a lot because he knew it confused me...he was chaotic neutral, I think they call it. But anyway this particular one generally urinated with the bathroom door open all the time in the back room and ignored my requests that he stop, turning it back round with "well, why are you looking? are you gay?" which is problematic for many reasons—mainly because I should not have had to see him in there urinating all over the place and leaving the door open like a barnyard animal, though I suspect it's not as if he had anything to hide.
Though autistic self-advocacy is important, let’s not take biology and make it our identifier: I don't think it's a good idea in every case to disclose autism status. At least in the Deep South—and probably everywhere there are imperfect people—in other words, the world over—the "good old boy" mentality is strong. Autistic or not, you can find it in your workplace by looking for the unintentionally fascistic view that the strong are better and that sensitivity is emasculating. Dogs are treated better than people, and by the time you quit the job, you will like neither.
In sum: the workplace culture was bad for autistics because:
Small town social life revolving round the counter of the auto parts store was dangerous for autistics, not known for their social awareness; one false move, one failure to follow the unwritten rules of good-old-boy culture which I had not grown up in, and the entire town had found a new Other, a new oddity to play with;
For a pack of "religious" people I seemed to get a lot of particular criticism about my Catholic Faith--though that is not a thing exclusive to Catholics or to this company;
Because I did not join them in their disgusting (lewd) conversations I think they wanted to pester me about that as it obviously bothered me;
Because I was very literal and did things a certain practiced way, which actually helped my job, they used that as a way to ask dumb questions for their own amusement;
Because I was there, and anything different or unusual gets picked apart by the insecure and the ignorant.
Congratulations, my long-suffering and patient readers, you sat through to the end of me complaining about people; if you are employers, you’ll have more profitable work and happier employees if you let them be while they are on the job. If you are a worker, or looking for work, don’t be afraid to ask the boss questions; if you are afraid, then maybe you should ask around and find a boss whose personality has graduated middle school. If you are autistic, don’t be shy, but ask friends about finding a job—real friends, who will help you; also, if you could call OSHA and own the store, don’t get a job there because they are either too broke to pay you, or too careless to clean up. If you are the guy who maintained our delivery trucks, the guy who peed with the door open, or especially the flitting nouveau-riche preppy boy who never learned his ABC’s, then congratulations, reading this was the first day’s hard work you ever did in your life. I might be autistic but I’m not so stupid as to go back!
Lost in Translation? – Working with autistic adults - A disaster analysis
It is a “well known fact” that autistics struggle with communication. Consider the following interchange/communication disaster that occurred in my life this week. I am a freelance technical documentation writer for a software development company. A big release was coming up and of course, their helpdesk site needed work.
I received a text message from the man I report to. It said: “Management has agreed that we need to have the helpdesk documentation by Wednesday”.
I thought “Ok, seems unrealistic but fine”. I didn’t say anything further, because, I was at the time, connected to a very slow drip and working on a hospital bed. Three hours later, after having passed out on the sidewalk from low blood sugar levels, recuperating back on the hospital bed and then being carted home by a friend – I opened my laptop again and began working. I passed out again after an hour. I woke up about three hours later with a massive tension headache. I ate dinner, still trying to recover from the day. Here is the interchange between my employer and myself as it devolved over the next few hours.
Me: If there is anything, I can do to assist with getting helpdesk ready, please tell me, I would like to help.
Him: Well all I can think of is if you could <vague description of some requirement that wasn’t well thought through>, that would be great.
{It seemed to me at this point that he was searching his head for something I could do. My assumption: He is scraping the barrel here, hence, this task was not really critical.}
Me: I don’t have knowledge of that area in order to do that though.
Him: It’s fairly straight forward, I think you can manage it.
{Also, him: Disappears to take a call in his office and I hear nothing from him until he emerges at 21:00.}
Him: Are you working on <vague description of some requirement that wasn’t well thought through>?
Me: Um, no, I was…
Him: {flips out}
Me: Huh?
Him: Do you just not care about the sheer amount of pressure that we are under? Could you NOT see that I needed you to start that <vague description of some requirement that wasn’t well thought through>? Don’t offer to do something and then NOT do it! {Yada yada yada…}
Me: But when I asked if I could help, it seemed to me that you were scraping the bottom of the barrel to find something I could actually help with. Also, you left without addressing how I do the <vague description of some requirement that wasn’t well thought through>, especially since I told you I wouldn’t be able to do it.
Him: If you actually WANTED to help me, you would have come to ask me how! Never mind, I will do it myself. You can work on <clearly defined XYZ> instead.
Me: Ok, I will start now. In future, could you please give me more specific information and timeframes when you require assistance? Also, I didn’t want to barge in while you were in the zone to ask you a question about a task I didn’t see was all that important.
Him: But can’t you SEE that EVERYTHING is important right now?
Me: Um, I am just asking that you could perhaps phrase it more directly, like “Could you please work on this immediately” or something along those lines?
Him: But I KNOW, if I speak to you that way, you will be offended.
Me: I kind of need that level of directness. Is that too much to ask?
Me: I understand your requirements now. I will work on them exclusively until completion.
This is the a very watered-down rendition of a spirited conversation where it was clear that communication was severely compromised.
Where it Went Wrong
Inferred Meaning and Vague Requirements
“Management has agreed that we need to have the helpdesk documentation by Wednesday” – There was meaning hidden here, that was not clear to an autistic brain wired on explicit instruction. This was a statement. The implications of the statement were unclear.
Another example of inferred meaning:
“Well, all I can think of is if you could <vague description of some requirement that wasn’t well thought through>, that would be great” – The phrase “All I can think of” can have so many possible meanings. I chose a meaning based on some pattern building mechanism my autistic brain had built up. “All I can think of” implied (to me) that it wasn’t such a high priority.
In addition, the description of the work itself was vague, not well thought through, and unrealistic given the as-is situation.
Unclear Expectations
As I said earlier, the requirement was not clear in my employers mind, so conveying it to me in unclear terms and then somehow expecting me to know how to do it AND to start on it as a matter of high priority was unclear to me as well. Yet, the neurotypical expectation to “just know” were still there. Hence, the blow-up.
Assumptions About What We Know
He assumed I would be able to complete the task, and was sure could figure it out without giving it further thought. It just doesn’t work like that with autistic people.
We understand things really well. BUT not things you cannot explain to us in the first place. He later came around to say that he saw there was no way for me to do what he asked me to, as I didn’t have the user rights to do that among other factors.
Non-Existent Timelines
In the entire interaction, no fixed “deadline” was given. No priority was assigned to the subtask in CLEAR terms. This makes it impossible for us to organize our time.
A Better Way to Communicate with Us
Some examples of phrasing that would have induced a better outcome:
“Management has agreed that we need to have the helpdesk documentation by Wednesday. So, I am going to need your help intensely over the next few days. Please could we discuss what you will do and by when we can have it done?”
When I asked how I can assist, it would perhaps have gone better if it was phrased this way: “Let me think it over. Honestly, I am just hammering out work, so things are a bit vague in my head right now.”
“I would like you to please <specific description of task> and it would be best if it is completed by <time and date>. Can you assist within these terms?”
“I understand that you have not done this particular task before. Let’s take ten minutes for me to show you what is required.”
Perhaps the impatience can be understandable if a manager or supervisor is used to subtext as the norm. But I invite you, as a neurotypical person working with an atypical, to consider – would not ALL interactions with employees of all neurotypes benefit from the following?
Patience
Ability to express yourself and your expectations clearly
Ability to admit your own possible lack of understanding
Clarity of expectations in terms of work to be done
Clarity of expectations in terms timelines
Good project management such that last minute panic is avoided
Not “beating around the bush” in phrasing
Not trying to “soften” the expectation/requirement
Trusting that speaking in a respectful but clear and direct way is just better, not offensive
To conclude:
We expect clarity, are not offended by directness and do not subscribe to subtext. These can be seen as positives, not disabilities. Consider the beloved Mr. Data in Star Trek, TNG.
Bullying in The Workplace
By: Vanessa Blanchard
This is the third post in a series of posts about bullying @ work - worst jobs for autistic people.
Finding jobs for autistic people that don’t involve heaps of bullying and discrimination can be quite challenging. The impact of having employment that leaves you burned out and traumatized can be long-lasting and the discrimination we face is pervasive.
It’s why unemployment rates among autistic adults are as high as 85%. People just don’t make room for us in traditional employment. They don’t even try to learn or understand.
A Girl in a Candle Store
When I was 20 years old, I left home and got a job at a candle store. My first day on that job, I was promoted to assistant manager. My boss seemed quite impressed with me, but I didn’t understand why.
I wasn’t ready for the position. I was fresh out of an abusive home with no life skills to speak of. I was facing full adulthood -- alone -- with a learning disability, a developmental disability, and PTSD, none of which I knew about.
But people don’t have to have terms like autism or ADHD to observe that something was wrong and judge/discriminate against it. The way I was treated changed rapidly.
Very quickly, my boss began making confusing and critical comments to me. Everything I did was wrong, and I could feel her disdain, even when she wasn’t around.
She’d leave nasty notes to people and my name adorned many of them. Or she’d leave them with no name so everyone would have to read them to know who it was for. She spoke to me less and less, except to criticize me or tell me she was tired of people talking about her.
Eventually, almost all of my shifts were alone. She worked with a different manager who was her friend. Then I’d work with one other employee for part of a shift so I could get breaks and spend the majority of the shift alone. I remember looking at the schedule and realizing I was the only one scheduled to be alone like that. That hurt.
We shared a shift once where I wore the wrong outfit and she was very offended. Someone else had to tell me that my outfit placed me on the same hierarchical level as her, which I hadn’t known was something to worry about.
She was also constantly suspicious of me. I once called out because of a flat tire and she thought I was lying. Then someone dropped off the tire iron I forgot and she once again thought I was lying.
After nine months, I put in my two weeks notice. On my second to last shift she said to me, “Let’s just get through this. You won’t be missed.”
I couldn’t go back for my last shift. She called my house shouting about how I was screwing them over.
The Aftermath of This One Single Job
I left that job thinking I had a terrible work ethic. I felt judged and ostracized. I knew I had done a lot to rebel in that environment. My attitude was, “If you don’t like me, I don’t care about this job.”
Sometimes someone decides you’re trash, or disappointing or something, and there’s nothing you can do. I was an annoying kid back then, with a ton of difficulties I was only beginning to understand. But I once had to work a nine hour shift with a fever because no one would cover for me and I did it. I was othered before I rebelled, even if I needed a healthier style of rebellion.
I think that’s a common trajectory with bad management and that I wasn’t the only bullied person in that place. Still, I ran into her years later and had a strong PTSD reaction to her. I was fully frozen, face burning with shame that she could even see me.
I think that the surprise of being bullied was part of what made it so impactful for me. I had shown up to do my thing and was praised for it. Then, over time and still doing my thing, I was increasingly disappointing. I remember being very confused often and was always the last person to realize how people felt about me.
The horrible, off base, bad faith takes on who we autistic people are haunt us. And over time, it becomes our canon. Our inner dialogue. It takes a lot of effort to fight back against that.
Upon Reflection
Over the years, this dynamic would play out again and again. I was impressive until I wasn’t and then I was driven out. But I show up and put forth my best efforts. That has also been constant. The discrimination that I face trying to find a job as an autistic person is not about what I actually have to offer. It’s a reflection of a system that needs changing.
My experience isn’t unique to me. It’s one of the biggest risks involved in trying to find jobs for autistic people. We end up with “problematic” work histories when we can’t protect ourselves from this dynamic. If we’re going to improve upon that unemployment rate, we’re going to need to find a better system of employment for us autistic folk.
Bullying in The Workplace
By: Patrician M.I. Todinescu
This is the second post in a series of posts about bullying @ work - worst jobs for autistic people.
When I was younger, I was lucky to land a position as an accounting clerk in the film industry, with little to no previous experience in accounting. The job made me around $1000 per week, but of course being young and in a new city, I would also blow about that same amount per week.
The daily tasks were my ideal type of work, pattern-based and repetitive: sort completed receipts alphanumerically, file the sorted receipts in their correct account folder by date, and so on until the end of the day, every day. The job started out ideally; all my coworkers were pleasant, and I joined in on the casual, friendly banter as we all worked through our own assigned tasks.
Unfortunately, it didn’t last long. Things took a sour turn one day, as the friendly chatter started delving into personal opinions on politics, or other hot-topic issues. Inevitably there were disagreements, and we all quickly agreed to disagree for the sake of professionalism. Despite this, one of my coworkers had now become openly disdainful of me. Theirs was the desk I walked past every morning to get to my own, and the previous cheerfully polite “good morning” greetings were now replaced by silent, cold glares. The once bright and relatively stress-free environment had now become tense and vaguely antagonistic.
Each day I dreaded going in to work, as each meek word out of my mouth was met with thinly veiled scorn. I retreated further and further into myself, my motivation to complete my daily tasks plummeting, and my professional performance sinking with it. I dreaded being in the same room as this co-worker and asking them even a single work-related question required significant psychological preparation. I would take frequent coffee and bathroom breaks just to minimize my time spent around this person. I jumped at every opportunity to work in a separate room, or to assist a separate department, regardless of how brief the task elsewhere was.
My boss became aware of the situation after I self-consciously confessed my struggle, but there was nothing to be addressed, since there had been no actual confrontations or problems outside of the “cold shoulder” treatment. Instead, I was assigned to auditing and reorganizing the previous decade worth of files, mercifully, and was able to escape into the back room for most of the day. But the damage had already been done.
The work environment became so emotionally unbearable that I began experiencing physical symptoms from the stress of being so clearly unwelcome. I felt physically sick, my digestive system reacting poorly to any food I ate no matter how healthy, and my brain was muddled in a thick fog – that served to numb me from the stress – but made sorting alphanumerically take twice as long. I made simple mistakes frequently, that set me back several hours apiece, and each passing day I stuttered and stumbled increasingly through my words and social interactions, until just meeting people’s eyes took a painful amount of effort.
I grit my teeth and pushed through, trying my best to keep my focus, and internally working to brush off the silent ostracization I faced daily. It was excruciating. Each day I felt less and less tethered to reality, a blurry filter constantly superimposed on everything in sight, as if I were underwater. It quickly became too much. The only outcome of suppressing my psychological stress, was to force my feelings into physical symptoms that were much harder to ignore.
Full of guilt at my inability to keep my emotional reactions from interfering with my productivity, and drowning in the shame of failing to hold yet another job for more than six months, I resigned from the best opportunity I’d ever had, or could picture for myself at that time.
This job took place well before my Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD) diagnosis, and even though I was good at intuitively knowing when it was time to move on from a place, I berated myself endlessly for quitting that amazing gig. I am now well aware of this “shutdown” process my brain initiates when under too much stress. To avoid a total self-destructive spiral into meltdown, it is imperative I remove myself from the stressors as soon as possible.
Looking back on this now, with thorough knowledge of my limitations, and well-established healthy coping strategies to address my specific needs, I can easily see how being equipped to understand and communicate my needs would have made all the difference. I don’t believe that there are specific jobs tailored for autistic people, or a neat little ‘worst jobs for autistic people’ list that everyone can access and use when considering what job fields to go into. I believe that autistic people, or any neurodivergent persons, are capable of doing any job that suits their unique skill sets, as long as we, as a collective society, are able to allow and accommodate the unique needs of every individual behind those skill sets.
"I don’t believe that there are specific jobs tailored for autistic people, or a neat little ‘worst jobs for autistic people’ list that everyone can access and use when considering what job fields to go into" https://t.co/q9DdfX68Ji
— Spectroomz - autism employment blog (@spectroomz) May 17, 2020