How to Spot Client Red Flags When You’re Autistic
By: Vanessa Blanchard
This is the 5th post in the freelancing series, where we help autistic folks start and maintain a freelancing career. We were able to create it thanks to the support of Spectroomz hub members, and therefore it’s available only to members.
There’s a myth in freelancing (and employment in general) that tells us that looking for work means we’re desperate. Part of this pressure comes from the looming threat of poverty, but this pressure also comes from capitalism saying that workers can’t negotiate. Capitalism loves imposing a hierarchy and pushing workers to the bottom. Freelancing is a way out from under that hierarchy, which is often important for autistcs and other ND folks who need room to maintain unconventional boundaries.
But autistic people are at a disadvantage when it comes to navigating boundaries. Many of the social biases that we face -- such as workplace ableism -- actually push us to relinquish our boundaries in order to survive. We’re more likely to overlook bad client behavior and/or tolerate it until we’re emotionally unwell. The idea of finding clients while working within this kind of dynamic can be almost more overwhelming than the transitions.
Things get even more complicated when you consider that being a “good” client is very subjective and often not super easy. Life gets messy, right? And collaboration takes a set of skills, just like any other aspect of work. So you might encounter a really cool person who just isn't cutting it as a client. How do you navigate that? This article is meant to help you learn what red flags to look for in a client so you’re better prepared to assert your boundaries -- even in confusing, ambiguous social situations.
Common Client Red Flags
Autistic people aren’t really supported when it comes to socializing in NT society. We get pretty baffled by people’s behaviors sometimes. Luckily, there are a number of really common issues that come up when working with bad clients:
They make demands for your off time - If they want you to do things like research or training on your down time, that’s a sign that they won’t value your work. You should proactively build skills in your career, but client specific training should be paid for by the client.
They won’t pay you fairly - An early sign of a bad client is someone who tries to underpay you. It’s normal for negotiations to include some discussion over prices, but those discussions also include issues like the scope of the project and the types of deliverables needed. It’s a huge red flag if a client seems to be chipping away at your bottom line. Beware of clients who try to cut your pay in some way after you’ve met them and/or started, especially if they blame their budget. In my experience, this is one of the most common ways a client might break a contract.
They ask for samples or free work - Clients need to pay you for your work, even work that you do for interviews. Likewise, don’t send completed work to clients as a way of applying. There are many stories online of companies stealing ideas from applicants they don’t hire.
They constantly change their mind or ask for excessive revisions - Updating a project based on feedback is part of the job. However, if you’re stressed out or losing money over the number of revision requests, you might have a bad client. Revisions can also include re-defining your role within the company by changing or redefining tasks, asking you to take on tasks unrelated to your contracted agreement, constantly changing priorities, or adding to the agreement in other ways. Pivots and add-ons are the other most common way that bad clients will break contracts.
They don’t set clear expectations - If you find that you’re never quite sure what they want, they might be a bad client. This and communication problems are the most common ways that awesome people can sometimes make bad clients.
They don’t communicate well - Lax or unclear communication also makes it really hard to complete a project. If getting a straight answer, or any answer at all, is like pulling teeth, it might be time to move on. Autistic freelancers are at a disadvantage when clients are poor communicators because we’re not as likely to guess their intentions. Because of social biases we face, we have more riding on achieving clear communication than NTs, so we face more stress when messages or intentions are murky.
They single you out or compare you to others - It’s true that we have a lot of sensitivity to rejection. But if you consistently feel disrespected, listen to yourself. Workplace bullying definitely happens, and autistic people are targeted more than others.
They provide useless feedback. Or worse, they withhold feedback - Feedback should be constructive and move a project towards a polished outcome. If it’s hard to hear but good for the project, it’s not a red flag. It is a red flag if you feel singled out or you feel like someone is harboring a grudge for something they haven’t talked to you about.
They refuse a contract or don’t respect yours - There’s room for compromise when it comes to who provides the contract (you or the client). Consider it a red flag if they belittle your contract in the process. Clients who neg are going to bully you and demean your work.
They act like your boss rather than a client - A client is working with a business owner and therefore there is a customer dynamic rather than an employer one. That dynamic is a bit different if you’re freelancing to hire. However, clients who act superior to you are more likely to devalue your work or single you out.
They have high turnover within their company - If the person before you was fired or left abruptly, it could signal problems with management. Another sign of poor management is if several people have recently left for any reason.
Perhaps the easiest way to spot a bad client is that you find yourself excessively stressed out or disrespected. Listen to those feelings and take steps to move on before you end up burned out. Trust me, if you wait too long then you get stuck with really awful conversations that could have been avoided.
How to Deal With Bad Clients
We’ve defined some important red flags. Now let’s look at some customer service tactics you can use to diplomatically “break up” with clients. I picked these tips based on personal experience and they’re meant to let you represent your authentic self and maintain your professional reputation.
Keep it in writing
My first and biggest piece of advice: delay communication until you have a cool, calm head. Arrange for feedback, negotiations, and conflict resolution to occur in writing. This mode of communication benefits autistics for many reasons:
It gives us time to regulate intense emotions that come from co-occurring issues like rejection sensitivity or other PTSD triggers.
It gives us the chance to compose a response, ensuring we communicate clearly and accurately.
It gives us time to process the social dynamics of the situation so we know how to respond.
It gives us protection from social biases by removing audio and visual cues from communications.
It gives us a written record of agreements that we can refer to for legal protection or just to keep ourselves organized.
So if you find you need to deal with a bad client, put it in writing and keep it there. You’ll benefit greatly from slowing communications down so that you can process, best represent yourself, and document everything.
Stay civil
Client breakups can feel pretty bitter, but there’s a lot of value in remaining professional when parting ways. Be as honest as you need to feel better, but consider using “I feel” type statements over direct feedback. You can still be direct with this approach but in a way that focuses your feedback on behaviors rather than the person overall. It’s a very useful customer service tactic for dealing with nice people who are also bad clients. It’s not as hurtful to hear (this has come up several times in my career).
It helps to acknowledge and validate the client’s perspective as well. We’ll discuss this more when we talk about customer service tips in our article about client retention.
Lean into your contract
Have a policy for giving notice
Many freelancers have a clause in their contracts that establishes that they can void their contracts with a 14-30 day notice to the client. Maybe you line something else up first, maybe you don’t. If you define the terms and adhere to them, you can move past a bad client without burning the bridge.
Let the contract expire
You can add a contract expiration date. This allows you to regularly update your contract as your business grows and it makes scheduled rate increases easier/more predictable (new contract, new rate).
This also protects the client from times when burnout, illness, depression, etc prevent us from delivering well.
If you don’t wish to renew, then put in your notice instead of renewing. Likewise, making contracts easily renewable is a way to keep good clients, which we’ll also discuss in our client retention article.
Keep Your Time With Bad Clients Brief
Obviously it’s easier to say you should stand up for yourself than it is to do it. However, you can maintain a good relationship with a bad client by leaving before there’s resentment, which will help you professionally. It’s also way better for your mental health to avoid that stress. Freelancing is about customers, not employers. We’re not required to stay with a job long term to justify getting more work. That’s very helpful for autistic folks who need to be careful about the social environment they are in.